MY BEST FRIEND....

As life progresses, I have always felt that the definition of a best friend and the corresponding personification of that entity has kept on changing........Who exactly has been my best friend and what have they done to actually deserve that place in my life even if for a fleeting second really appear a mystery to me as I sat thinking or rather contemplating since I accidentally visited the orkut profile of one of my old school friends.......I remember there were two guys when I was merely in standard 3...........we were so good friends that I remember thinking that I must have been related to them in some way in the previous birth........one of them joined at NIT RKL as my junior, same branch and the other, after a gap of many years, met on Orkut and since then we have rarely talked...........I remember meeting friends on Orkut after at least a gap of 10+ years...........but forget about those people since they hardly ever qualified as my best friend........But then came the phase after 10th..........the +2 phase.........when most of my troubles arose due to my "so-called" friends or rather best friends..........Mama used to say friends come and go but by then I was pretty much sure that I had actually made some friends for life.........but then again, that was not supposed to be the case..........those friends came and went causing the maximum damage so far as totally shattering my faith on the institution called friendship.........then came NIT RKL where I again made a decent group of friends in the 1st year itself and again thought to myself that wow........this must be friendship...........these must be my best friends........only to be left behind with an irreversibly broken faith again..........I remember a time had come when I used to contemplate that although I have lots and lots of friends around me I never had a best friend till date............then came the phase of 3rd year and 4th year when new people stepped into my life again.............u know like God sends good people in the end to restore your belief in something that had been lost.............I still cherish those friends.............Although work has forced us to stay in different cities, still they were and are still friends............And just when I had been out of college and in a different city starting work, away from the friends who had restored my belief in friendship...............God finally sent someone to my life who actually showed me how beautiful life can be with someone...........my life was so hollow without her now that I come to think of it...........She thus was, is and always will be my best friend...........I really wish to forget all those people who had caused me terrible pains coming in the guise of my friends.........let me just have the people around me who could restore my faith in friendship...............my friends in the 3rd and final year of college...........friends forever................and my honey...............devoted my entire life to her................my truest and best friend till date................my life was indeed hollow without u.............

LIFE GOES ON!!!! HAPPIER AND MERRIER!!!!

How can someone just illuminate my life so much as to make me feel an entire city however crappy it may be, worth living........worth calling it a city of eternal joy..........stumps me..........Someone so lovely that I am ready to take all sorts of responsibilities for US...........anyways life has been going good as usual............regular studies, mom at home, honey in the same city and the ever burning desire to prove myself this year............It actually takes something very good to take the form of an obsession from being just an interest any more......I mean, there must something actually be so good in the exam that it completely overpowers you......Like a tempting seductress, it takes over your mind and soul by storm but the catch is that you actually enjoy the fact that something has overpowered you..........I mean instead of feeling like a slave to it, you actually donate your heart, soul and mind............just like a tempting seductress..........You know she is a vamp...........she is playing with your mind and soul..........she is definitely neither the end of the world nor a definite parameter of success...........she is just "ANOTHER EXAM"............but still you actually enjoy her company............unlike the IIT JEE or AIEEE exams when you feel compelled to study, this exam is something different............The entrance exams in the +2 days can be compared to a woman, say your wife (honey I know you will definitely read this.......dont worry I love you very much.......U are my life......This is just an example that definitely concerns other people :-)............Please dont get mad at me...........), who demands to be loved although you may not love her that much...........but the CAT/XAT/FMS/JMET or any other MBA exam for that matter is just like a sexy girl you saw in the subway who just captivated you right from the word GO and you start loving her insanely knowing you may never even see her again forget about even getting her..........She just seduces you without any overt actions or show of sexiness, if I may use the word for lack of any better words to use............She doesnt compel you to love her but you shower her with love nevertheless..........With a look of "Come and get me darling" in her eyes, she just vanishes down the turn leaving you gaping for words........You run, do all that you can do just to have a glimpse of her again and when you actually manage to have a glipmse of her again, you try all you can to woo her but then with a mischievious smile, she again disapperars round the corner flicking her hair out from near her eyes and you are left wondering where was the point that you went wrong........nevertheless with renewed vigour and strength and interest you chase her again wondering when you can be good enough for her..............and the point is no one actually compels you to chase her but you just do that for reason either very varied or for reasons even you yourself are not sure of...........she is just so damn hot and sexy.........seducive, playing hard to get but not overtly so........That come and get me look in her eyes I talked about just drives you crazy........She feels so near yet so far...........so elusive.........One moment you swell in confidence that she can actually be yours but the next moment she does something so mysterious that you feel weak in the knees.........may be also just like your lady-love whom you love unconditionally, giving your heart and soul and want to see her always, any time of the day, do anything to please her and everything else.........Welcome to the world of MBA ASPIRANTS in India.

LOTS OF TIME....

Thank you IBM....Thank you VISA....Thank you for both for all the free, productive and utterly essential time you guys are providing me each day helping me to inch towards my dreams....Someday, I will definitely look back to these days and say that these days helped me a lot....Someday the time will come when I can bid IBM and VISA a lovely goodbye nd say "Kiss my a** suckers!!!!"....I still feel the jitters though....An exam is always an exam after all with the usual share of luck factor determining your success...What if something goes wrong....what if I cant even sit for the exam...what if there is an accident or sickness.....WHAT IF....I know I sound like a pessimistic ass but then the fears still linger refusing to recede even by the surge of confidence....But somewhere deep down within me I feel I CAN....and I WILL.....rather I MUST....

DEFINITELY MORE THAN AN EXAM....

Doesn't it sometimes happen that something you felt was not quite your cup of tea becomes so important that it becomes an addiction.........a passion.......I don't quite follow the turmoil of emotions that sweep me some of these days.......I feel a new phase of life sweeping all over me.......I feel determined, scared, confident,apprehensive all at the same time........A kaleidoscopic array of variegated emotions swirling all around me at the same time......I never knew that a single exam can churn out so many emotions in me..........An exam that can truly make a MAN out of a carefree youth........A responsibility, a sense of duty........dreams, aspirations, determination, a dream of seeing oneself shine........an aim for oneself...........hopes in the eyes of mom and dad..........dreams in the eyes of honey...........all culminate together in just one degree..........

CALM....

After quite a time life feels settled like a calm, serene sea beach just during sunset.......A calm before the storm may be????? But no, I seriously dont think so.........When everyting falls into place, everything just fits in, everything just feels right and everything heads towards near perfection........note the word "near"........I hope this phase gets prolonged for years and years to come...........

AFTER A COUPLE OF HALF POSTS....AFTER A LOOOOONG HIATUS....

As I go through my last post, I realise that it has been almost a month since I posted anything.......not that I am posting because it has been a month since I posted anything but I had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I had been neglecting my blog again as always.......I have been very unfaithful my dear pal.........neglecting u time and again and when some friend such as Rohan sends me the link to his decently decorated blog, I start to think about my blog, my muse again............and how I have left her in the lurch even after she helped me through some the apparently toughest days at Bangalore.........Anyways, a lot many things have predictably happened in the last month............In fact the most notable among them would be my two "half-blogs" that I could never complete...........sigh........there......I leave my muse half-lonely this time.........but then the best news would be that my honey has had her relocation to Bangalore done and what could be more exciting........Although we can only hold hands on the weekends, the feeling is simply exhilarating.......I mean 30 mins of meeting after 3 and a half hours of journey also appears to be pure bliss........This is the love I had always desired, always craved for and I am so lucky that I found it just when I needed it the most..........I found an inspiration, a strength just when I needed it to achieve my ambitions, build OUR life...........Sometimes I feel that I have mada an enough mess out of not only my life but also the lives of some people around me...........But that has taught me a lot................has really helped me grow up...............Has made me "perfect"...........well almost and this time around I make a conscious effort that nothing goes wrong...........so that my honey stays happy and contended throughout her life...........She has made my life a real joy.........an experience worth living...........U know someone like someone just comes into your life and pulls u out of a mess, a quagmire...........God I really thank u for that..........and the joy becomes double when both of the people involved pull each other out.......ANd yes one more thing........3 more weeks and again my life would be even more joyous, even more livable.......mom is coming down to stay with me here, help me prepare for CAT..........This is the first time our family is getting disintegrated for a period of around a year so that I can do well in the exams this year..........Imagine the pressure on me...........I have to do something so that all of these don't simply go futile........This is the year and now is the time...........What makes me happy is that I will have a familiar face once I ring the door bell.....A person I can talk to about all my worries.......a person who can say me that its already an hour I have been talking to my honey and probably now I should start studying.....someone who can resolve my worries about good and rather cheap food...........I am really thankful to my parents for being what they are...........My living Gods.........For helping me and guiding through both my happiest and worst times........

LOT MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.....

I cant classify this as a hiatus but I am deinitely writing this post after a gap of some days to say in the least............So much has happened in the last week..........After Padmanabhan's caustic remarks last week, I had decided that it would always be only 8 hours for me in the office........Not even a second more............So since then, I have made it a point to dash out of the office incognito on time............I try to remain as inconspicuous as possible.......I try not to attract as unnecessary attention as possible so that I dont have distractions to disturb my mind and I can focus roperly on what is to be stacked and stored in my life for the days to come.........Anyways, I was waiting for last tuesday with bated breath...........Why????? Because CAT results were going to be out that day...........Not that I expected some phenomenal result..........I think non-geniuses like me should not expect phenomenal results with a total of at best 12 hours of efforts put in for an exam where 1600 odd students battle it out for a single hallowed seat in one of the institutes of their dreams...............I am more than happy with my 94.38 percentile this time..........Quants screwed me as expected this time.............I could only manage a gut-wrenching 71 odd percentile............Even VA was not superbly excellent with a 93.94 percentile.......and could score 95.07 percentile in DI/LR...........But all of it simply makes me feel good.............feel confident.........Figure this out............12 hours of labour supposedly amount to 94.38 percentile.............Then imagine what an intensive dedication of 891 hours should do.............including mock tests..................Dont try the unitary method here............it will of course be futile.............people have achieved better though although I dont think anybody from the 2003-07 batch of NIT RKL has managed an IIM call...........Juniors have definitely shown though with 2 BLACKI..........and some more with 2 or even a single call..........Assume that I enter an IIM in the next year, I would be their junior and pass out after them...........A irony probably...........After the week dragged on, I waited again for Friday, spent 3 restless hours in the office, jumped onto the Air Deccan flight DN-765 or 766, I am not quite sure and reached home friday night...........Man, that was pure BLISS...............Gotta sleep now...............too too tired.............