Of late I have been wondering.........Wouldn't it just be good or rather I must say great that whatever people plan or work out for their future, the course of events proceed exactly like that???? Well wistful thinking I must say but that seldom happens for me......Used to happen though but something has somehow changed.......may be my stars are at play or some freaking explanation........But somehow whatever I have been planning of late has been going into dumps somehow.........Like each time I fall into a complacense, a sense of being settled, life more often than not throws up some sort of a surprise for me............Of late, I had been thinking that my life has been going great at Bangalore...........no work load, ample time and focus to study, mom here with me, dad visiting me here, my honey to support me here and the fact that I can spend some quality time here with her being in the same city but then all of a sudden, something shatters the peace and throws all my plans into dumps...........Like the maxim goes.......MAN PROPOSES, GOD DISPOSES.........but then wouldn't it just have been great if we could play GOD????? that might be quite a lot to ask I guess but then my demands are that each man could play GOD for himself........decide his own fate but could have no control on the fate of others........but then again each man's fate at least affects the fate the people around him and we come back to square one that again man can not decide his fate independent of others and thus the entire demand that he be allowed to control his own fate is unreasonable........I know I have been countering my own demand since some lines but thats the state of my mind right now.........CONFUSED........All this stems from something that happens some days ago..........My Project Manager came down to me the other day and asked me to apply for a B1 VISA..........basically a US trip for upto three months........Although I had categorically told him in a one-to-one discussion some days ago about my MBA plans and all and he had assured me that I wont be disturbed after October, he came back to me again and asked for my B1 VISA to be done............ Italked to him again and said that if I am unable to fill the forms up for exams (they come out from August for the uninitiated), how am I going to sit for the exams???? Then he assured me that it will only be for 2 months at a max and it won't be September at all..........So its July and August or never..........Now you may ask "What's wrong with a 2 month paid US vacation?????" My reply to that would be I stayed back from 2007 to 2008 just to sit for CAT with a thorough preparation.......attending weekend classes, appearing for AIMCATs, prepare seriously..........I wanted to do all that and had been doing all that till now but from now onwards I have to keep my fingers crossed............The biggest consolation is that GETTING A B1 VISA IN OUR PROJECT DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE ARE ACTUALLY TRAVELLING. THERE HAVE BEEN MANY TEAM MEMBERS WHOSE TRAVEL HAS GOT CANCELLED ALTHOUGH THEIR VISAS HAVE BEEN DONE. Another consolation is that my Project Manager has also assured me that he is trying to keep me here as much as possible just for the sake of the smooth commencement of my studies and all........This he said is just a measure to ensure that I am ready for travel and nothing else.........Hopefully I should be able to continue with my peaceful and planned life........but then I am at crossroads between a fully paid vacation and a gamble that I am going to play in November called CAT.......because there is never any guarentee that I can do well even after lots of preparations, Mock Tests, classes and all............What will happen then???? Because I have been neglecting my current job for something which is little more than an illusion..........Then I will lose out on both sides...........Again like the popular maxims go...........A BIRD IN HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH.............and our very own Hindi one...........DHOBI KA KUTTA NA GHAR KA NA GHAAT KA...............
P:S: This post is dedicated to Richa from PagalGuy who was the first person who commented on my blog and the second person to encourage me to write further (my honey is the first person in this regard :-) )
